Santa Baby

As an apology to not driving through Vegas and flying home for Christmas this year. I have entered a special holiday edition to my blog regarding the dangers of Santa Claus.

Our society is based on the socialization of accumulative exposure to traditions and beliefs which have existed since our European ancestors. One of the most dangerous of these residual habits is the freedom in which we permit characters of unknown repute to enter our homes for the soul purpose of leaving presents. Who is this Santa character and why are we so willing to let this deviant escape prosecution year after year.

Earlier this week there were several stories of attempted breaking and entering in the Western United States, that resulted in the victims shooting the perpetrators. What double standard are we setting for our children by allowing a stranger to sneak in at night, while we will attack someone who knocks on the front door?

I blame this on the selective use of media filtering during the holiday season. Similar to the way in which advertisers will promote attributes of products during the timeline of a campaign, corporate America is selling us on the idea that Santa is jolly. We send our children to sit in his lap at the malls, but are unaware of any criminal history of Santa Claus. This fleecing of American security comes at what price? What if that jolliness was directly related to consumption abuse, or if his snowy white beard hid a dark side?

As society and people change are we too ignorant to believe that Santa is immune to change as well? It only took a quick search online to reveal the truths that have been ignored by the media and public for too long.





It is our fault for not questioning Santa earlier. Had we collectively prescribed him to a moral code of conduct we could have avoided enabling this destructive behavior.

We love and miss you Santa Claus. The road you are on is one of heartbreak and loneliness. We all want you to get help, and we are all here for you.

P.S. If you could bring a Wii that would be totally sick!

Gangster

Maybe it's my incredibly white skin, or maybe it is my missing swagger, whatever it might be, the word "gangster" has never been used to identify any part of my character. Maybe this should bother me, who doesn't want to be "gangster"? Even Justin Timberlake is "gangster" now! However yesterday I received my first honorary decree of gangsterness.

Let me preface with the fact that the individual who bestowed this title upon me was not a discreditable source. Receiving the gift of "gangster" from an elderly citizen just doesn't carry any weight. My "gangster" title was given by a multi-generation native of the Bronx, NY.

It was in reference to the fact that we were running with the bulls. He said "you can tell yours (sic) kids 'bout (sic) this one, your a gangster now"!

After another couple mins the fun really began! Here is a brief cap of the most terrifying minute and ten seconds of my life...

It was a bright and sunny morning, deep in the heart of Spain...

I started out at the "deadmans curve" (given this name for the fact that the course makes a 90 degree turn which the bulls cannot see and plow into the turn plastering anything between them and the wall). From this point we proceeded up the street at a walk through the straight away, which is the most dangerous part for injuries due to the fact that there are no places to dive into shops or fences for nearly 300 yards. Once we got halfway through the straight away we began to jog when we heard the rocket explosion indicating that the bulls had entered the street. At that point I ran for my life! You could not straight out sprint with so many people in the way and you could not see or hear the bulls coming from behind you. After I had reached the first set of fences I jumped up on a fence to see if I could locate bulls, I couldn't see the bulls so I jumped back down and started running again. By the time I took several good steps they were right behind me. I saw a couple people fall right around me and headed back for the fence. The kid behind me ended up getting trampled and had to get an ambulance to get him off and one of the guys running next to me had his knee torn open from one of the bulls. I hoped through a fence and started and watched at others flew under over and threw the fences as fast as the could. As quickly as it started it ended.

As I was walking to our groups meeting spot so we could all reunite and share the details of our event I ran into my friend who was wiping his face with his du-rag, and shared his story, and again reconfirmed that we were both officially "gangsters".

So to honor my new title, as you would appropriately address a doctor, senator, or president I will from hence forth be Gangster Ryan Gould. I will also respond to "G" Money, Original Gangster Ryan, or Ryan Doggy Dogg.

Yours Truly,

Gngstr. Ryan Gould

Thing I HATE about flying

Flying isn't fun! After that first time you get on a plane, as a little kid, and your parents convince you that it's a real adventure. To soon the luxury of free peanuts and little flight wings that the flight attendants pass out, wear off and you are left feeling like that creepy guy at work who everyone ignores. In response to the pending 24 hours of airport travel tomorrow, I have compiled a short list of the reasons I hate being at the airport.

Ticket counter agents or anyone who pretends to be in airline customer service (requirement for employment- HATE LIFE)

The security screening, I just show up in my pajamas since I will have to redress myself after the cavity search.

The food, in flight chimichangas anyone? (At least I can dream)

Airplane blankets, those aren't my hairs!!

Items shifting during flight, if I cant move then how can my bag end up in a bin 7 rows back?

The smells...can't we just crack the windows or pre-screen who gets to use the can?

Crying babies, ok...any babies. They will end up crying sooner or later, little time bombs of terror

STRIKE ONE

Ok, Ok...so the first blog was an TOTAL and COMPLETE failure. Maybe this online journal/talking to myself via cyberspace thing isn't for me, but I'll be fair and give it one more shot.

It's just about time to go, so the next post will be from the road, somewhere in Europe. TTYL, KIT and have a super summer!

Getting ready to get ready to go!

I've never tried one of these blog things out, so we will see how it goes.